Most confused thing on two legs ...

Maid in India !

2010-03-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

I am so tired …of hearing these.cliched statements.

“you must keep them in their place”

“ They are so greedy”

“ How much ever you give them they are not happy”

“They refuse to eat –old stuff … whereas I eat”

“ I give them so much.my old sarees, salwars, toys.one can never satisfy them”

“ My god, you must see the way she dresses up …even we don’t have such a good collection”

“They take so much leave”

“ They demand a bonus every year”

Well, I don’t think anyone lets them sit inside he house, and yes they are no exception when it comes to greed and contentment, eating cooked –refrigerated food is your deal.is it not plain simple audacity to expect them to eat your leftovers just becos they work for you and are economically backward?? Yeah –you said it –you give your old saris, torn faded salvars and broken toys.and expect them to dedicate their life to you in return as a mark of gratitude.what arrogance this dry humour of comparing their grooming to yours …why should financial standing decide the way one grooms oneself ??? Why, weekends and chilling out are only your birthright is it? Aren’t they working like you in an office? Don’t you get a raise and bonus at Office??? If you are selling your service thru your intellect – they are selling their physical labor …

By now you must have guessed that I am talking about the much talked about, much in demand, much hated, much loved, specie in the Indian sub-continent –MAIDS!

Thos who have lived abroad would know how labour class is treated there …It is sad that we have to learn a few things about that from the west.

We had.before the British Raj such a beautiful system where the labour class co-existed and were part of the household …Children from both the households played together …there was lot of respect …mutually …

I would blame the babu culture on the Britishers to a large extent ..…Infact we all have a servently attitude towards foreigners and bend ourselves backwards to please them or try to ape them …All becos of the insecurities brought in by the Britishers …I can go on and on about the negative effects the British Raj has had on our social, cultural behavior as a nation.

Back to maids. I think left is right ..Here I am a born communist

…My maid in particular …my first maid Hemavathi - lasted me 4 years.was very regular and even now calls me up to say Hi.we shifted home the next maid lasted me 6 years …Rajamma …she had this weakness for fotographs.still have them -posing with my children …we shifted again ….Now I have Kala.a young girl.who is so affectionate and never once forgets to ask me if I had my cup of tea when I give her.when ever she goes on leave she gives me a set of advice – akka – don’t get angry with the children.don’t fold or wash clothes akka ..I will come back and clear the backlog…truly affectionate.

Indeed god has been kind to me.where maids are concerned …I thank god for giving me a mom and dad who are role models in treating servants. My mom has always been a very good friend and full of compassion to them …she taught me to wink at certain not-so- good cleaning days …it is an investment …

I thank god for giving me the sense to offer to open bank accounts for my maids. Rajamma saved up 10k! And looking at her updated passbook became her favorite past time …

I never made a big issue of giving old clothes and never expected anything in return for that – neither better service nor life –long gratitude …Anyway it would have been donated and was of no use to me. And that in the true sense of the term is anyway not charity ….The closest synonym would be “spring cleaning”. May be?

I never grudge her taking leave.on the contrary feel guilty for not giving her weekly off…Atleast once a week I want to give them off and be a role model.feel ashamed and embarrassed that I am not able to do so.till now.

Whenever I sense her being unwell give her off and also give her the choice to do whatever work she can if she has already reported to work…

Raise their salary whenever we get a pay raise. (She gets a raise even in the years when we don’t get! wish I could convey this to our employers!) .and give a months bonus very year at any time she chooses …
Of late.am talking about insurance.but cant seem to make her understand …

Inwardly I never suspect or mistrust her intentions to do the job well. If something is not done well I always tell her about it the next day.another pearl of wisdom I learnt from my mom …

I ‘ve reached somewhere ..Where my maids are concerned. …Would be doubly happy even if I achieve half of this where my children are concerned.

1068....

2008-02-18T22:43:00.000-08:00

The help line for child labour ,child abuse ...
writing this with a very heavy heart ...had been to an ayush homam function recently and was indeed touched by the mothers thoughtfulness when she explaind why she chose to wore a red saree and not a blue one ...she explained the blue one would have matched with the kid that had her ayush homam that day and that would have upset her older sibling who is 8 years old as she would have been singled out ...This relative of mine is known for her ways with children and how she understands their pschology etc ...The way people talk about it sometimes gives me a complex abt my abilities with children ...
Having said this she introduced her new "help around " a skinny looking girl barely 10years or just two years older than her own older child ...so much for her understanding of child pschology ...
Not being able to control myself -I asked very discreetly ( all the time avoiding my husbands sharp looks at me to stop !) "have you checked her age , becos at Mantri elite they actually had a raid on some houses to check child labour " .. Obviously the answer was elusive and justifying the act that if not for this occupation she would go without meals etc...such double standards ...that way we all can justify just abt anything ....
I remembered these captions on discovery channel about elephant and Elephant Tusks .THE KILLING WILL STOP IF THE BUYING STOPS ...
I have seen the same thing happen in many places ....and now i have made up mind to dial 1068 whenever i see such things happen even at the cost of losing some friends ....

Summer holidays and back to school !

2007-06-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Summer 2007 ...has been one of the most memorable one for all of us ...Vedant 's arrival into the family was the highlight ...sashu and shakthi enjoy vedu's company immensely and were literally in patti's house ..I had to beg them literally to come back home ..even appa 's early homecoming was no incentive ...

Sashu's tennis class - sashu took to tennis class so well right from day one ...our objecive to put him into tennis was twofold - To make him try " irrespective of winning or losing and to increase his apetite ! ( the not so noble objective !)

Talking about apetite - we just discovered why sashu would not eat citrus fruits ! It has been three years since he touched any citrus fruit ...all along we have only been forcing him with no luck whatsover ...just the otherday i asked him seriously the reason why ..and sashu "the most compliant boy " said " amma , kasi uncle ( his peadiatrician ) told me not to eat ... I was quite taken aback and asked him when ? Promptly he said when i was sick with vommit and loose potty ! Oh my god , so that was it ! I shd have known him better . He is such a compliant soul ..any rule will be followed to the T !The next day i got an appointment with Dr.Kasi and met him alone and explained the situation and asked him to undo the damage ! The ever obliging Kasi uncle just slipped in the message during the chk up while i tried to keep a straight face ! Operation success ! On the way back sashu asked me to get him oranges ! I still cant get over the fact that he can be so obedient and stick to instructions ...he refuses to sit in the merry go round in the mini forest and says " amma -read on -it is for children below 5 years "! I can go on and on about his compliances !- be it washing hands with dettol verytime he comes back from playing , brushing his teeth at night , not eating on the sofa etc etc ... Am I proud !

shakthi - compassion personified -t his is something I think I have acheived with both my children .. I have been sucessful in teaching hem o be compassionate ....The other day both I and ganesh wre in tears when she said looking at a very undernourished child in the hands of a very poor woman at a traffic signal -" amma , can we take them home ?" When i said ( just to test her seriousness) our house is too small shakthi -pat came the reply -"it is ok amma I will share everything with them ,ven my blue color ( that is her blanky without which she cant sleep and is so dear to her )..Made us proud ....

A day to remember !

2007-04-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

It was on that day when my driving license application -after a test was rejected (for the second time !) I took a solemn pledge that I will see to it that my children learn to drive a bike , car , and may be even pilot a plane by the time they are 18 yrs ...

And today ,April 03, 2007 .... sashvat was able to ride his bicycle sans the trainer wheels !! he didnt realise it till i told him ..He thought someone was holding him at the back ..and once he realised that, he jumped off the cycle !Takes after my side of the family I guess ! He was indeed riding on trust -alone ...

Well , shakti had to come up with something to outshine anna ,as he was getting all the attention and huggies and kissies ...Never the one to let me down -she called out " amma , see I can balance with the trainer wheels on !"

I remember my own experience of learning to ride a bicycle ..when i was in first year college ...well better late than never ! somehow this concept of using brakes never appealed to me ! the only way i would stop was either by crashing on somthing or somebody or simply jumping off !And all this for an audience - my four giggly sisters and my father gritting his teeth in utter shame ! We are all in splits even now when i recall the day when i went round and round and round an old lady with a basket on her head selling " keerai "with the good intention of not crashing on her ...but she thought i was teasing her ,especially since she saw the four foes ( my sisters ofcourse ! ) rolling with laughter .she gave me the choicest gaalis in chaste madras bashai ....well everything happens for the good ( of others in this case !)
Well I am not the one to give up ,,so we tried our hands at a scooty ... I was very good at getting it started and my sister was good at riding it -being the well balanced person she is ! It must have been a sight ! I used to start and very graciously take the pillion and let my sister ride ! so we always went together whereever ! well ,it takes two to tango ...

Years passed by , ...I thought with such a loving husband and no necesscity to balance ...driving a car would be easy ...alas ...the gear , accelerator ,and the brakes ( the villain !) got the better of me ....
being the second year of marriage there was lots of romance everytime I went on those practice sessions with hubby dear ..but didnt last too long ... I had to choose between my marriage or driving skills ! you guessed it right ! i chose to drive him around ..!
..Deserved it for not heeding my experienced friends advice on hubbies being terrible at teaching their wives to drive ...!
My so called morale booster - my husband -never fails to remind me of the incident when i hit a scooterist at south end circle and said "it is ok -dont worry '' without for a moment realising they should be the ones saying that !
Unrelenting - I tried once again after four years ....this time i did the test well -did all that was asked but did an awful reverse ..well how do I explain the RTO that I am a very forward looking person and really dont beleive in reversing !

Riding a bike , driving a four wheeler -not for me in this janma ...May I add to this list typewriting ( my little finger got stuck in the Brother machine and I came home bleeding !) and walking with sunglasses ..!!! yes , bizarre sounding though ,I simply become deaf when I wear sunglasses and cant hear a thing !

Therefore I took the pledge to equip my children with all the above skills before they are 18 !And today April-03,2007 I have moved an inch Towards my goal ...Congrats sashu !

kadhai kadhaiyaam

2007-03-09T18:35:00.000-08:00

Like all mothers' minds mine too is doing overtime these days ...it was one of those days when i was just too tired to start a story -(an unending one always )..I hit upon this great idea (pat pat !) of giving my children a topic and asking them to narrate a story for mommy !

The topic given to my son was "fan "and the story goes thus :

"there are two kinds of fans .one white color and other brown . brown ones are always exhaust .there is a motor which goes round and round .the wings of the fan are traingle .and the motor goes round when the security on's the generator.!"

The topic for he next story was chosen by my son -"coins "

" once there was a boy .he had coins .he put all coins in the bag .and the bag ateup all the coins .the boy was shocked !"

Mani rathnam in the making ??!!

EEE kathai ...A gem !

2007-02-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

We have such wonderful pieces of nursery poetry in tamil and this one in the form of a little story is my favourite .I must have old my children this ee kadhai ..god knows how many times and it is something I never get tired of ..
This is a memory game , a funny story , all rolled into one ...

The story goes thus ...

An " ee" ( common house fly ) was about to get married and so started out to give invites to all its friends . The EE being a female one, wanted to dress up for the occassion and applied kajal to the eyes ,wore jimiki in its ears et al ..( I love the way my daughter says it in tamil ...kannuku mai ithundu ,gathukku jimki pottundu ,marudhani ittudundu ,paavadai kattai poundu ,cant say chattai says kattai !)
after all that make up the ee set out on its venture ...But the lil ee in all that dressing up for got its name so she went around asking every other creature on her way fo her name in the form of a song ...

EE: Kozhu kozhu kanre en perenna ?
The kannukutti nodded its head and said ask my mom .
EE: KAnrin Thaaye en perenna ?
The cow said ask my Idayan .
EE: Thai meikkum idaya en perenna ?
The Idayan says ask my stick .
EE: Idayan kai kole n perenna ?
The KOl said ask the tree on which I am hung .
EE: Kol irukkum kodi mareme n perenna ?
The kodi maram said ask the stork sitting on me .
EE: Kodi marathin kokke en perenna ?
The stork said ask the fish which happens to be my food .
EE : Kokku thinnum meene en perenna ?
The fish said to ask the fisher man .
EE: Meen pidikkum valaya en perenna ?
The fisherman referred it to he earthern vessel in his hands .
EE: Valayan kai chatti en perenna ?
Chatti reffered the ee to the potter who made it .
EE: Chatti seyyum kuyava n perenna ?
The potter refers to the soil ..
EE: Kuyavan kai manne en perenna ?
The soil refers ee to the grass that grows on it .
EE:Mannil vilayum pulle en perenna ?

The grass refers it to the horse that eats it ....
EE: Pullai thinnum kuthiraye en perenna ???

(here comes the climax and the las mouthful of what ever dinner That i am feeding them ...my children are on the edge of their seats , all starry eyed , ready to burst out laughing ( every time !)..

The horse says" heee heeee ..." and the eee remembers its name !

THere is one more ,which is a hi with my children ...

Appa kutty magan suppa kutty
suppa kutty magan sundeliyaam
sundeli raajanukku kalyanamam
elie yay koopudungal band vaasika !

It is sung in a catchy tune ... I ont know if there are more verses o this song ...

Most confused thing on two legs !

2007-02-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

This is the best description about myself ( I grudgingly admit ..) And the credit goes to my brother for summing me up thus !

True to that definition ..I always ,always have two opinions ( sometimes more han two!) about just about anything ...wonder if everyone else is also like that and camouflage it well !