Saturday, July 16, 2016

When the dust settles

First and foremost, we are not dust to settle down.

And when the dust settles, you may have to mop it up.That is what I heard Rajdeep Sardesai is doing right now.

This post is patently dedicated to Rajdeep Sardesai and his tribe who are concerned about people "settling" down.

More about Rajdeep and his tribe Here.

Little do they know that getting married and then stepping into motherhood can be one of the most "unsettling" things on earth. Particularly on the Indian side of the planet, where ironically it is called "settling" down.

All Indians genetically are curious. About other's lives. Our mind does not rest unless and until the jigsaw is solved as we try and fit in any acquaintance  as a Bihari, Punjabi, Malayali, Tamil.

It does not stop there. One has to know your age and your father's profession. Whether you live in a rented or own dwelling.

And, why is the Bindi missing ? Especially down south.I hear it is all changing now. With Mehndi and Sangeet in Tambram weddings, a missing bindi is hardly noticeable.

Next, is the sighting of the mangal sutra or the absence of it. Either way, you are doomed.

If you are not sporting a mangal sutra and are above a certain age, you owe them an explanation as to why you are single.

Spotting a mangal sutra does not end this interrogation. It only gets more annoying from then on. Especially if you have a kid or you don't have one yet. Either way, as I said you are doomed.

"When are you planning the second one?"- If you have a Child.

"Did you see a doctor?"- If you have not started a family as yet. And of course, you get loads of free, unsolicited advice from here on with enquiries about which of the spouse has the "problem".

This question is asked with out a single batting of the eyelid. Amazing , no ? Most often you will be forced to make a note of a doctor's co-ordinates.

The questions are crafted so tricky that you cannot get away with a monosyllable answer. Answers will lead to more questions that sometimes may question your very existence.Sigh.

Our friendly neighbour 'mami' at Madras would not let anyone pass by without knowing the full agenda and a little more. We sisters were the 90's rebels constantly fighting with our Amma about 'pottu' or bindi. Our Amma used to beg us to have it on at least till we pass by the Pinocchio mami !

My poor mom would have to endure her comments about why her daughters turned out like this..no bindi, no pavadai-dhavani, no flowers on the braid! Imagine what would happen to all our sanskara. Sacrilege !

She once asked my mom -" Is this all she has ?" She was talking about my braid/hair. Ignoring my amma's pleading looks to shut up and move away, I said: " No,mami some of it is at home." Sure enough, mami was piqued as she picked the wrong one with that question.

Oh, yeah..this is how it all starts ..your hair, your clothes, your bindi, your education ( especially if you are not persuing Engineering, Medicine or CA ), your marital status, fertility concerns..family planning, settling down.

Sigh..from neighbourhood Mamis to HR Managers to TV anchors. We Indians are like that only.

A simple, " why would you want to know that ?" delivered with devilish impudence and a sweet smile shuts them up for ever.

Try it.

Sania Mirza's reply to Rajdeep Sardesai's  question about settling down is simply brilliant. Do check that out if you have not already.



"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.”

― Lewis CarrollAlice in Wonderland











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