Wednesday, August 7, 2013

ROTFL ..me and my hum-suffer


It happened precisely 19 years back when verbal flourishes like 'LOL' and 'ROTFL' were non existent. Wonder how I survived without these linguistic leanings, given my demonstrated skills at getting into a giggling fit every now and then  Now.

A genetic disorder which runs in the family for sure. I  just cannot articulate in a polite / politically appropriate way , what havoc it can do to the over-the-hill female family members!

Just married, and dreamy and still with full hope that one day 'my newly married husband' will come home with flowers humming a Rafi song, which I want him to hum.

Sigh ..he still hasn't figured out the song.Never mind. I can manage with the original one.

Being a firm believer of "Do unto others what you would have done to you ", way back then,  decided to surprise my husband. Subtle hints, Broad statements - Declarative, interrogative ..nothing ever worked. Nothing will work. ( Doing English grammar lessons with my 4th grader !)

Flowers ..??? Nay, He would most probably ask 'wow! Who gave you ?" Arghhhh..

Food ?? Very complicated and tricky way to reach a mans' heart through his stomach. Given my sense of direction, I am sure to get lost/ stuck midway.

Finally decided on surprising him with wearing a saree that he had gifted me before our marriage, all the while praying that he remembers that fact and hoping he doesn't  deflate my spirits by asking, " Is this your sisters ?"  or something more blasphemous.

All set. Came back home early from office and made sure he started from work and was heading home. It used to take exactly 45 minutes those days from Airport road ( old ) to Vijayanagar where we used to live, in his Suzuki Samurai.

And I used to know exactly when he arrives from the sound of his bike.So timed it accordingly and stood behind the door. ( All the drama club experience from school days came in handy ).
Heard the Suzuki Samurai sound,.Parked. Climbing the stairs now. Anytime he would be here .. ready, steady, opened the door .and waited behind the door.Thankfully I didn't yell " surprise " LOL !( I feel utterly silly now ..and ROTFL ..wonder how I felt then standing behind the door all decked up.)

No sound. Just a feeble, " madam".

I Was so confused, terrified ..and horrified till I saw the Milkman with the monthly bill in his hand.

The milk vendor's  expression cannot be put down in words, as he saw me come from behind the fully open door-All decked up.

Don't even want to think about what went on his mind.LOL !

Walks in our man, after having a chat with our neighbor and losing a few precious moments in the banter.  And from my looks he knew something terrible had happened!

I must have giggled and laughed my heart out for close to an hour that day ..and there was no "ROTFL"  lingo to come to my aid.

All my man managed to say was, ' you should have warned me about the surprise .'  Do you get the Drift? Sigh .

No more surprises for anyone . Especially the milk vendor. No more warnings too.

Predictably, the milk vendor sent his brother from the next month to collect his dues .. And I used to get the feeling that he was updated about what happened behind the door ..by his smirk and bewildered look, while all I managed to do was ROTFL!

I certainly think I have come a long way,from behind the door. ROTFL !  15 pounds ago probably there wasn't any need to go rolling anywhere!LOL !







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