Sunday, December 23, 2012

Capital And Punishments

Not a  subscriber to knee-jerk reactions which we Indians are famous for , realised am getting very cynical about all the  calls for capital punishments , justice with in 30 days, agitated blog write-ups after the  Delhi Gang rape incident .

Why am I not shocked or angered by this one  incident ? Because while this one got reported there are hundreds swept under the carpet every day . ( Cant help remembering the mentally unwell poor woman at the hitech city traffic signal close to where we live suddenly   pregnant and more pitiable than before )

While that does not in anyway make this act acceptable or any less gruesome ..sets me thinking ..

Why do we wait for something like this to happen to bring out all our feverish angst  towards such incidents..what comes out is lot of fire , smoke ,finally  we are left with  consumed  cinders .



We need to silence the "Burkha Dutt" in us which serves no other useful purpose than being a mere journalistic /media paradigm . Instead  ponder over a viable , long term , preventive root-cause analysis.

Thinking aloud, my thinking allowed the following .

Why did those men behave the way they did ?

Why didnt they look at other commercially available options to satiate their needs ?

Why did they indulge in physical assault after the act like some species of Cobras ..killing their  mate  after mating ?

Why didnt they think of the consequences at that moment ?

Or did they ?  Given the innumerous such cases getting covered up did they think they could handle the  legal outcome .I mean ,if at all it came out ?

How did they do what they did without a thought ..was it planned ? was it on impulse ?

Isnt there a moment -a fraction of a moment -between the stimuli and response ? How do we tap it ?

The need of the hour is a continuous , on-going reform at grass root levels starting with "ME" .

Not for  a moment am I underestimating the need for a strong law and speedy redressal systems to penalise the accused in a most fitting way .

We need to take it up as our responsibility at an individual level and spread awareness without waiting for a professional to do so ...Even if we just reach out to handful of parents ..a few children .and ..have community discussions is bound to have a ripple effect in the long run .
I am positive that we can make a change by talking about it constructively ..Let law take care of offenders ..while we can work towards protecting the vulnerable lot - Our children who are reading and watching our reactions to these .

We have so much to do at this level while we just lose it to agitated reactions which are neither curative nor preventive .

Let us  teach our children. Let us  start at the very beginning . Algebra , Trignometry , Spell bee contests , Reality shows can all wait .

Let us  train our children to spot their feelings ..and their thoughts which lead to those feelings .And the emotions they end up with because of those feelings .. early on .

Once they are trained to spot their emotions , let us  try to teach them to handle every emotion with care and concern for self and others .

Let us conciously break stereo-types.. . It is okay for boys to cry and girls to play basket ball . Let us teach our boys  to cook , clean and get involved in household chores . Let the girls be taught to change a fused bulb and run errands.

Let us  teach our boys to pee into the water without spilling on the toilet seat . It all waters down to being sensitive .

( While at it , we can learn too.On the job training .Parenting unfortunately is the only job which requires no training . The fact that it is least remunerative - In another blogpost .!)

Wonder how to impart all this to children ? Sounds like a herculean task ?

Try "Do as I do "  instead of "Do as I say "

The accused - Their up-bringing , life circumstances , lack of emotional support ,and many more reasons could have led them to behave the way they did . None of the reasons however can in anyway justify the gruesome act . So ..

So ,Catching  them young the secret . Empowering them with the required knowledge and physical skills is the solution .

Will this knowledge help  in protecting themselves from rape and abuse by creatures much stronger than them ?  May / May not .

Does a Fire Drill prevent fire accidents ? Does it protect kids and adults from burns and injuries ? May / May not.

It is therefore imperative that we put these preventive mechanisms in place . Their value can never be understated . It is the least we can do .

Do check out ..Ripples..Small pebbles big waves My page on FB  for a cause , a social malady - Child Sexual abuse (CSA ). a small step towards this very goal .

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